Welcome to this week’s “Dumbest Thing I Heard This Week” column…it is the year 2021, and everything remains stupid.

And by “everything” – I mean anything that emanates from the Left.

The dumbest thing I heard this week comes to us from author and scholar Raj Pate, who claimed in an op-ed for the Guardian that apple pie is…wait for it…racist.

Wow, who could possibly have seen this coming?

These people are so predictable it is boring; they need to get new material.

My colleague Shawn Ambrosino wrote an article on the subject this week. You can read it HERE. But since the column is titled: “The Dumbest Thing I Heard this Week” I had to write about the subject as well.

I am just being consistent; nothing I heard was dumber than this!

Patel wrote, “Food injustice has deep roots: let’s start with America’s apple pie” — details how apples came to the West in the 1500s with colonists and their “vast and ongoing genocide of Indigenous people.”

English colonizers then used apple trees “as markers of civilization, which is to say property,” he wrote.

“John Chapman, better known as Johnny Appleseed, took these markers of colonized property to the frontiers of US expansion where his trees stood as symbols that Indigenous communities had been extirpated,” he wrote.

He linked sugar to the slave trade, and gingham to “war capitalism” that “enslaved and committed acts of genocide against millions of Indigenous people in North America, and millions of Africans and their descendants through the transatlantic slave trade.”

I am dumber for having read this.

Just shut up and eat your pie, or give me your slice! I like mine ala mode.

You see, everything is racist. You might not realize it, but it’s the truth. That is what the woke Left claims, so therefore, it is the truth. How dare you question them with facts and logic.

You might be a racist if…

A waitress asks you how you want your coffee and you say “black.”

You voted for Donald Trump.

You are a conservative or, God forbid, a card-carrying Republican.

You support the police. You’re proud to be an American.

You believe in any form of meritocracy.

You believe that the nuclear family should not be disbanded.

You respect the Founding Fathers, you are racist.

You want to teach American history without including “The 1619 Project,” you are racist.

You like classic films like “Gone with the Wind.”

You read your children or grandchildren Dr. Seuss books.

You like classic Disney films like “Song of the South” and “Dumbo”—or even if you’ve so much as seen them.

You think Colin Kaepernick doesn’t deserve another shot in the NFL because he is a crappy quarterback,

You think Barack Obama was anything less than the best dang president we’ve ever seen.

You like Aunt Jemima syrup on your pancakes. You were born in the suburbs…or currently live in the suburbs…or live near the suburbs…or even drove through the suburbs one time.

You think that students should be told to show their work on a math problem.

You don’t believe in race-based hiring quotas.

You don’t support Affirmative Action.

You say you have black friends when someone accuses you of being racist (in which case you’re just using them as a token because obviously you can’t really be friends with a person of color).

As the old saying goes nothing is as American…oh, I mean racist, as apple pie!