[The following is satirical]
FreedomWire has obtained an exclusive transcript of a call between President Biden and Chinese President Xi Jinping. The transcript reveals what the Chinese regime thinks about Joe Biden…and it isn’t flattering.
FreedomWire has also obtained an exclusive translation of what the Chinese were saying during the conversation about Joe Biden whenever President Xi hit mute on the phone. The translation of those comments is also included below.
Read it for yourself here.
Biden: “Good morning, President…uh… you know…Jet Li. Right?”
[“Hey, guys! Biden thinks I’m Jet Li! Hahaha!”]
Xi: *suppressed laughter* Good morning, President Biden.”
Biden: “I was a huge fan of your father Bruce! I loved him in that movie with the …um… you know, the thing about the dragon, or something. Great movie. Sorry for your loss, he was a great man.”
[“He thinks that Jet Li’s Dad was Bruce Lee! Hahahaha”]
Xi: “Uh, thank you for your kind words about my father, Mr. President. I miss him dearly.”
Biden: “Hey, man, did anyone ever tell you that you look like Winnie the Pooh? I, uh…um…didn’t mean that as an insult. I am a big fan of Pooh. Every time I see a pot of honey, it makes me think of Pooh. My buddy Corn-Pop—you know, a bad dude who ran with a bunch of bad boys—used to put honey on his cereal while watching morning cartoons.”
[“Guys, are you listening to this? I have no idea what the hell he is talking about! Who is this Corn-Pop he speaks of? Somebody look that up for me.”]
Xi: “Well, Mr. President, your friend Corn-Pop sounds like a good guy.”
[“Wow, this guy has lost his marbles. I almost feel bad for having so much fun taking advantage of this old man.”]
Xi: “Let’s get down to business. Mr. Biden, it is great to finally talk to a reasonable man. Your predecessor was very mean to us and he blamed us for the virus. It was very hurtful when he referred to the virus as the China Virus. Fortunately, you are a very nice man, and we can’t wait to work with you.”
Biden: “Yeah, that orange dude before me…what’s his name? Oh right, Crump! I hated Crump. He was such a bully. He used to write things on that computer thing, called…um, Tweety Bird or something. I used to cry myself to sleep. He is a Big Bad Orange Man.”
[“I think he means Twitter. We’ve been informed that Tweety Bird is a Loony Tunes character, not a social media platform.”]
Xi: “We would love to have you visit us here in China. We have much to discuss. We will serve you only our finest food and provide you with the finest hospitality anywhere in the world. After all, you and your family have had such productive stays here in the past, right?”
Biden: “Oh yeah, I ate at your place before. You have great food and hospitality. What do you call your restaurants again? Something like PF Wangs…or something?”
[“Apparently he thinks the Chinese government owns PF Chang’s! Haha”]
Xi: “Well, thank you, Mr. President. We are glad you enjoy our establishment.”
Biden: “Hey, man, how long did it take you to build that wall of yours? That really big one. Hey, apparently walls work, and we are going to build one on our border. Would it be possible to hire a few of your architects? Oh, and hey, can you really see that big wall from space?”
[“Guys, he thinks we just built the Great Wall of China and asked me if we could lend him our architects. Should I tell him they have been dead for thousands of years?”]
Xi: “Umm…We’ll have to get back to you on that one, Mr. President. So, anyway, I’d like to discuss the relationship between our two…Hello? Hello?!?”
At this moment, the phone went dead on Biden’s end, and the call was rerouted to Vice President Kamala Harris’ office. Transcript of the ensuing conversation is unavailable at this time. This seems to be a trend like with Biden, like when his feed went blank just as he was about to take questions during a teleconference earlier this year.
But as you can see, our nation and its interests are in very capable hands. No need to worry.