It’s time for us to talk about Karens.

Maybe you know one…maybe you ARE one…but the Karen pandemic is reaching crisis levels, and we need to talk about it before it’s too late.

According to the internet, a “Karen” is your stereotypical uppity white woman, constantly complaining and intruding into other people’s business.

Before the COVID-19 pandemic, “Karens” were simply those neighborhood busybodies that seemed to know what was going on in everyone else’s homes. These people style themselves as the unofficial hall monitors of the block.

If there’s a problem of any kind—whether it’s a “suspicious” individual in the neighborhood, someone playing music too loud, or people parking their cars improperly—the neighborhood Karen is the one that inserts themselves into the situation, sometimes unnecessarily. This was usually accompanied by loud complaints, the threat of contacting the authorities, and all-around unpleasantness.

Karens are also the kind of people you see in front of you in the checkout line of your local store. They’re the ones who get into an argument at the checkout over the price of a pair of pajamas and demand to see the manager IMMEDIATELY.

You’ve seen her…

Or you are her.

And honestly, it’s almost unfair that we label “Karens” as “she.” There are plenty of male Karens who are just as bad, if not WORSE, than their female counterparts.

If know a Karen or you ARE a Karen—whether male or female—you know what we’re talking about here.

The world has tolerated Karens’ noses in everybody’s business, ignored their tantrums at the grocery store, tuned out their online complaints, because we knew that they performed an important function for society.

They kept big box stores honest with their constant customer service complaint. They were a shining example to little boy and girls everywhere of how not to treat people.

But there’s a problem…

Much like the governors of Democrat-run states during the pandemic, they’ve REVELED in their power as the world deals with the pandemic. During this crisis, they’ve gone from the neighborhood watch to the neighborhood Gestapo.

And the rest of the world has had enough.

The Deputized Tyrants Of The COVID Gestapo

Why have these Karens become so tyrannical? Because governments have given them the power to do so.

Many of the elected officials across the country have been ENCOURAGING people to alert the authorities if they see people breaking the government’s pandemic guidelines.

As if Karen’s really needed the encouragement.

But actively asking people to turn in their friends and neighbors for breaking rules is like adding gasoline to a raging bonfire.

In New York, Mayor Bill de Blasio (whose totally BUMBLED response to the virus was highlighted in a previous article which you can read HERE) introduced a tip line for Big Apple Karens to call whenever they see people not social distancing.

“Tell on your neighbors, New Yorkers! What could go wrong?”

Apparently, A LOT can go wrong.

Almost immediately, the online tip forum was inundated with Hitler memes and pornographic images…

And you can only imagine what the actual phone calls must have been like.

Apparently, the local government forgot that New Yorkers tend to have a problem with authority. They don’t look too kindly on snitching or the people that do it.

But that doesn’t mean that there weren’t a LOT of legitimate calls made to the hotline. Even during a crisis, Karens have nothing better to do than snitch on people.
And the lecturing…my word, the lecturing!

We still don’t know a lot about the virus now, but one or two months ago, we knew even less!

But somehow, Karens knew it all.

Karens Know EVERYTHING. Just Ask Them…

Besides lecturing and complaining, something else Karens spend their time mastering is collecting ALL of the information from social media and using it to badger people with questions like  “How do you not know this?” or “Don’t you see that Trump has handled this the wrong way?”

Do you remember when the CDC was advising AGAINST wearing masks and the government was asking people not to buy them so they could all go to doctors and nurses on the front line?

When that was happening, Karens were the ones telling people how selfish and stupid they were for not listening to the “experts.” They even mocked other people for their caution, harassing people who were wearing masks early on.

But then it all changed, and the government advised EVERYBODY to wear masks

Which, to Karens, somehow meant that they were now in charge of making sure EVERYBODY wears masks if they’re out of their house, regardless of whether they’re staying six feet away from everybody or not.

All those joggers in the neighborhood? Yeah… they should be wearing masks even though they’re exercising ALONE.

Oh, you see that guy walking his dog in that field? He should be wearing a mask too…and maybe put one on the dog for good measure.

“Lives are stake! Why don’t you understand this?! You may not get sick – but you might get MY loved ones sick! Don’t you care?!”

And you can’t tell a Karen any different, even though the WHO now says, “If you are healthy, you only need to wear a mask if you are taking care of a person with COVID-19.”

But we’re getting tired of Karens.

Our nerves are shot now—or at least frayed to the point of almost breakable—and the last thing we need is a Karen sticking her nose in our business.

People are ready to snap, and the know-it-all attitudes of these would-be tyrants is one of the big reasons that we’re getting tired of the ever-moving goalposts of reopening society.

Karens are steadfast in their commitment to keeping their family and neighborhood safe, and while that’s noble, it’s not exclusive to them.

We ALL want that. We just don’t all think it’s our business to make sure everybody else is doing the same thing.

It’s time for Karens to go back to fighting with store managers and bad drivers…

We all know what we’re supposed to do now. We don’t need or want their help.

And to anyone actually named Karen who doesn’t fit this personality…we’ll pray for you.

 

“If I had a talent I could claim, it would be as a finder of trouble. Which is undoubtedly what I’d find by sticking my nose where it had no right to be. But would I let a thought of trouble stop me? Not a snowflake’s chance in hell.” ― Keri Arthur