The world is on the brink of climatic Armageddon. If we don’t do anything about climate change, we will likely cease to exist as a species.

But, wait, who is that flying towards us?

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Beto!

Beto O’Rourke announced he is running for president of the United States.

Despite losing his race for Senate to Ted Cruz in Texas last year; Beto thinks he can win over America.

Beto said, “He was born to do this.”

It was preordained by the gods that he be president.

We are saved.

I mean, come on, he is so cool.

He is a real rebel.

He played music in a punk band, has a rock-in-roll vinyl collection, got a D.U.I and fled the scene of an accident and is a skateboarder.

He’s so cool.

Cowabunga, dude!

In a cringe-worthy video on Twitter, O’Rourke announced his run for president. His wife sat next to him on his couch as he delivered his inspiring opening remarks to the campaign:

“This is a defining moment of truth for this country and for every single one of us… The challenges that we face right now, the interconnected crises in our economy, our democracy and our climate have never been greater.”

So inspiring.

Doesn’t it make you want to charge the gates of hell with him?

Yeah, me neither.

What are O’Rourke’s career achievements?

Answer: He doesn’t have many.

He married into a wealthy family and used his father-in-law’s money to break into politics. He was a city council member in El Paso, and he was a do-nothing congressmen for several years.

His biggest accomplishment in Congress was getting a courthouse renamed.

Wow, he truly is the man we need to save us!

The country is a better place for having that courthouse’s name changed.

This is the best the Democrats can do?

The media loves them some Beto.

They have been fawning over him like a schoolgirl.

Vanity Fair did an 8,600-word piece on him. He is just that interesting.

What are his policy prescriptions?

Here are his plans according to the Vanity Fair article:

O’Rourke says he wants to shore up the Affordable Care Act and make Medicare part of the health care marketplace, and eventually make health care for all a reality. He would also make climate change a top priority, keeping the planet from warming 1 degree Celsius, for me, is the most important for humanity … he supports AOC’s Green New Deal.

He is your typical leftist.

Par for the course for the Democratic Party.

The media will continue to gush over him and ignore his troubled past.

The man has no real-life achievements.

How is a man who can’t even win a Senate race going to win the presidency?

Good question.

That is inconsequential.

What really matters is that he is cool.

He is punk-rocker skateboarder.

He is hip and cool.

What happened to our country?

Personalities matter more than actual-life achievements and intelligence.

But don’t worry, Beto will save us all!